Our Grandmothers: A Poem of Life

Our Grandmothers

She lay, skin down in the moist dirt,the canebrake rustling with the whispers of leaves, and loud longing of hounds andthe ransack of hunters crackling the nearbranches.

She muttered, lifting her head a nod toward freedom, I shall not, I shall not be moved.

She gathered her babies, their tears slick as oil on black faces, their young eyes canvassing mornings of madness. Momma, is Master going to sell you from us tomorrow?

Yes. Unless you keep walking more and talking less.

Yes. Unless the keeper of our lives releases me from all commandments.

Yes. And your lives, never mine to live, will be executed upon the killing floor ofinnocents. Unless you match my heart and words, saying with me,
I shall not be moved.

In Virginia tobacco fields, leaning into the curve of Steinway pianos, along Arkansas roads, in the red hills of Georgia,into the palms of her chained hands, she cried against calamity,You have tried to destroy me and though I perish daily,
I shall not be moved.

Her universe, often summarized into one black body falling finally from the tree to her feet,made her cry each time into a new voice. All my past hastens to defeat, and strangers claim the glory of my love, Iniquity has bound me to his bed.
yet, I must not be moved.

She heard the names, swirling ribbons in the wind of history:nigger, nigger bitch, heifer, mammy, property, creature, ape, baboon, whore, hot tail, thing, it.She said, But my description cannot fit your tongue, forI have a certain way of being in this world,
and I shall not, I shall not be moved.

No angel stretched protecting wings above the heads of her children, fluttering and urging the winds of reason into the confusions of their lives.The sprouted like young weeds,but she could not shield their growth from the grinding blades of ignorance, norshape them into symbolic topiaries.She sent them away, underground, overland, in coaches and shoeless.
When you learn, teach.When you get, give. As for me,
I shall not be moved.

She stood in midocean, seeking dry land.She searched God's face. Assured, she placed her fire of service on the altar, and though clothed in the finery of faith,when she appeared at the temple door,no sign welcomed Black Grandmother, Enter here.

Into the crashing sound, into wickedness, she cried,No one, no, nor no one million ones dare deny me God, I go forth along, and stand as ten thousand.

The Divine upon my right impels me to pull forever at the latch on Freedom's gate.
The Holy Spirit upon my left leads my feet without ceasing into the camp of the righteous and into the tents of the free.

These momma faces, lemon-yellow, plum-purple, honey-brown, have grimaced and twisted down a pyramid for years.She is Sheba the Sojourner, Harriet and Zora, Mary Bethune and Angela, Annie to Zenobia.

She stands before the abortion clinic,confounded by the lack of choices. In the Welfare line, reduced to the pity of handouts. Ordained in the pulpit, shielded by the mysteries. In the operating room, husbanding life. In the choir loft, holding God in her throat. On lonely street corners, hawking her body. In the classroom, loving the children to understanding.

Centered on the world's stage, she sings to her loves and beloveds, to her foes and detractors: However I am perceived and deceived, however my ignorance and conceits, lay aside your fears that I will be undone,
for I shall not be moved.

THIS IS A POEM ABOUT ALL WOMEN. BUT IN PARTICULAR IT IS DESCRIBING A BLACK WOMAN'S STRUGGLE. IT LETS THE WORLD KNOW WHAT WE HAVE WENT THROUGH AND HOW WE ARE TRYING TO CORRECT OUR STRUGGLE.

A RIGHT OF PASSAGE!!!!!!

FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS, ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE SUFFERED FROM SOMETHING I CALL THE RIGHT OF PASSAGE. WE HAVE ALL LET OUR GUARD DOWN AND HAVE BEEN WALKED OVER IN CERTAIN WAYS. MY DEFINITION OF A RIGHT OF PASSAGE IS THE ABILITY TO LET SOMEONE MANIPULATE A SITUATION IN THEIR FAVOR. I MUST ADMIT USUALLY IM ON MY TOES WITH THESE THINGS. BUT NOW I SEE THAT WE HAVE JUST BEEN MAKING THINGS HARDER FOR OURSELVES. I HOLD A RIGHT OF PASSAGE DEAR TO MY HEART BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING STRONG THAT CAN BE EASILY DONE. IM PRETTY SURE IT IS ANOTHER WORD FOR MY DEFINITION BUT I LIKE TO CALL IT THIS. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT PEOPLE HAVE IN MIND UNTIL THEY DO IT. SO TO MAKE THINGS BETTER ON YOURSELF REMEMBER WHAT A RIGHT OF PASSAGE IS AND SEE HOW IT RELATES TO YOUR LIFE. REMEMBER EVERY PERSON HAS AN OBJECTIVE FOR YOU IN THEIR LIFE. WILL LET THE BAD ONES MANIPULATE YOU?

Twenty Things A Girl Would Not Mind Having

What girls really want from you.

1. Don't flirt with other girls. It makes us feel like we're not good enough for you. We feel like we did something wrong so you are making up for it with another girl.

2. Even if you're not going out, heck, even if you're not friends, don't say bad stuff about us. We could be the meanest people in the world to you, but most of the time we're joking and we think you're serious. You haven't seen mean until you say something bad about us. We have evil sides and we're not afraid to use them.

3. We're not toys. Don't just have your fun with us and drop us. We're serious about things. That's just mean and we'll spend days wondering what we ever did wrong.

4. Pur your arms around our waist firmly but gently, holding us close to you. If you can, smell our hair! For most girls, we try to succeed in making it smell and look good! Plus, we know you love the smell, why try to sneak around?

5. If you've done something wrong, fess up. Tell us before we have to ask you about it. Trust me, when we ask, we'll be twice as angry, and that's just if you tell the truth. We know. We don't guess when we confront you. We have our connections, and we know what's going on. Lie to us and you can pretty much send your death wish. YOU ARE NOT a player trust me we will find out no one can keep there mouth shut!

6. When we say we love you, we mean it. We're not willing to tell just anyone that. Our hearts are gentle and it's very hard to trust guys, and it takes time. Don't worry if you tell us you love us and we don't say it back right away. We do, we're just thinking about how sweet it was that you said it first. And if it takes a day or two, we're not deciding. We're figuring out how we can prove it.

7. If we have guy friends, we love how you hold us close when we talk to them. We think it's cute when you get all jealous, but don't overdo it. We're not dumb, we're not gonna mess around. We're not flirting, so don't blame us later. Now, if some guy friend of our's is flirting with us, then you have every right to overreact and kick his ass.

8. Anything you'd want us to know about you... know about us, too. We'll memorize every fact. We'll have our friends quiz us on how many homeruns you had in a season, what your favorite color is... But it's gonna hurt if we know so much about us and all you can say is, "Uhh..." and make a guess.

9. If our eyes are shiny, we're either really happy or we're about to cry. Look at our smile and the way our face is. Is it the same way it is when you make us laugh? If not, we're going to cry. At that point, if you can tell, turn us so that we're facing you and wrap your arms around us tight so that we feel like nothing could harm us at all while we're there, and stroke our hair. When we cry, often we will bury our heads in your shoulder. If we don't, wipe away our tears. Whisper gently in our ear. Tell us it's okay, even if you don't know what we're crying about.

10. Know that we like it when you tickle us. It makes us laugh and reminds us that you know that exact spot that makes us cry we're laughing so hard. It's cute. BUT no tew hard when laugh n say stop that means keep going but if you can tell we is gettin mad you better STOp

11. Surprise us. Call before you're at the door, make sure you have good timing. Tell us to look out the window, or open the door. We'll see you and hang up and run to your side. Bring flowers for now reason. Give us candy when we're down, that always works! Show up just to kiss us and see us smile.DAT IS SO0o0oo kyo0te jus mke sure our dad isnt home!

12. Show us how much you love us. That doesn't mean show us how bad you want to have sex. We're not walking beds. (So, in other words, we're not just easy lays walking around.) We love it when you whisper in our ear, or breath on our neck. We like it when you kiss under our jaw down our neck, resting your head on our shoulder. We feel like we're repaying you for every time we rest on you.YUP YUP

13. We love to look at the stars. Plan a night to surprise us and don't tell us where you're taking us no matter how much we may beg. Take a picnic dinner, candles, a lighter, plastic glasses and sparkling cider. Don't forget to bring lots and lots of coffee for us! We love that stuff. Bring 3 blankets. One for the ground when we lay on top of you in your arms, one for over the top of both of you, and another that you sneak on top of her during the night, just in case she gets cold. Hold us close and let us look up at the stars in your arms. If we fall asleep, don't wake us up. Stay the night with us right there, and let us use you for a pillow. Get comfortable, but try your hardest not to disturb our sleep, because if we open our eyes we'll tell you to take us home.

14. If your friends think it's cool to have sex, it doesn't mean we do. We have plans for our lives, usually. And if not, we're still not ready to handle that kind of pressure. Being in a relationship is a lot of responsibility itself, and having sex just means you have to be more committed. Wait until we're ready. If you pressure us, we're going to get mad and we might not ever have sex with you. (Another way to put it: We'll dump you, no matter how much it hurts.)

15. Sing to us in the quiet. Even if you're horrible. Especially if you're good. We love to hear you. If you're bad at it, it just shows that you would show us anything, even if it's not the most pleasurable thing you would choose to do. It shows us you're open with us and are willing to do whatever we want. In the quiet it comforts us and reminds us you're there, and it really turns us on, and you're likely to get a kiss.

16. Dance with us. With or without music. Even in the funniest of places. If we announce we love the song, that's your big hint that we want you to ask us to dance. And even if we don't say that, offer anyways. The worst thing we could do is say no.

17. Don't embarrass us. If you act immature in front of us, we will scold you like your mother would. We'll chew you out and rip you a new one, telling you exactly how much we never want to be seen with you. If, in fact, you do embarrass us publicly, after we're completely through chewing you out, say you're sorry. Tell us you didn't mean to embarrass us and ask for our forgiveness. Then, once we sigh, put your hands on our shoulders and let them slide to rest on our hips. DON'T try to kiss us. Wait for us to be ready. Who knows how long we'll be angry.

18. Meet our parents right off the bat. We love it when you include our family. If you get the chance, refuse to go out with us until you meet our parents. Figure out a day when you can come home with us and have dinner with the rents... Be Mr. Polite to the parents. Shake hands with her dad firmly and cooly. Shake her mother's hand first and be gentle. Do remember, she's cooking your food. Smile at them and smile at her afterward. If she has siblings, be Mr. Perfect. They'll love you if you tell them something they don't know. And if you show them how to do something, they'll love you forever. Keep in mind that they look up to her, so if you play your cards right, they'll look up to you, too. If they're older, they're sure to be protective. They might not appear it at first, but they care deeply who their younger sister is with. If it's a brother, be nice and polite and show him without action exactly how much you want to care for her. Prove to her whole family why you should be with her. Ask her dad. Make sure it's alright with him. Then, when you get the okay, kiss her hand and ask her to a date you've previously planned in front of everyone.

19. Pay for her. She'd offer to pay for half and even all of it. Don't let her. Call it your treat. Even if you pay every time, it means that we have more money to spend on those little gifts we love to get you. Like those photo albums we love to decorate and put pictures of the two of you together. Those do cost money. And the cologne we get you for Christmas or your birthday? Yah, that's real stuff right there. It ain't cheap!

20. Last, but not least and the most important of all, love her. With all of your heart, love her. Love her like there's no one else out there for you, because as far as you know, there isn't. Don't doubt our unconditional love for you. Kiss us like you've never kissed before. Hold us like no one could fit more perfectly in your arms. Love us like no one could fill that hold that we do any better. Look past the flaws that we constantly point out and even reject them. When we say we look fat or ugly, reject it instantly and remind us how beautiful we are. Point out something about us you love. Think about her before anyone else.

IM GIVING A REFERENCE FOR ALL THE GUYS WHO DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO TO MAKE A GIRL HAPPY. AT LEAST MOST GIRL WOULD LIKE TEN OF THESE TWENTY THINGS. TRY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Visit From the Past

HAVE YOU EVER MET THIS PEOPLE WHO LIE JUST BECAUSE? I HAVE MET MANY SOME HAVE LEARNED AND SOME ARE STILL FINDING OUT. I LIKE HOW YOU LIE TO ME AND TELL ME THESE LONG STORIES THAT END IN LIES. I NOD MY HEAD AND PLAY ALONG MAYBE EVEN SMILE AND MAKE YOU THINK I CARE. SOMETIMES I EVEN ENGAGE IN THE LIE BY SAYING "REALLY GIRL AND WHAT DID HE DO THEN? OR FOR REAL I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE." BUT WHEN YOU NOT WITH ME I SAY "YOU ARE A LYING B*****." GUESS WHY? CAUSE THATS WHAT YOU ARE. YOU ARE A COMPULSIVE LIAR. A PERSON WHO LIES AFTER LIES AFTER LIES. I CATCH YOU IN LIES SOMETIMES AND YOU GIVE ME THIS BOO BOO FACE BUT GUESS WHAT IM LAUGHING INSIDE SAYING YOU FOOL DID YOU NOT KNOW I KNEW YOU WAS LYING THE WHOLE TIME. I EVEN KNOW WHEN YOU ABOUT TO LIE YOU GIVE ME THE @LIE FACE@. EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT THAT FACE ON UNCERTAINTY TO GET THE NEXT PART OUT. IT IS TOO FUNNY. YOU MAY ASK ME WHATS FUNNY I SAY YOUR FACE. YOU SAY WHAT? I SAY NOTHING. YOU SEE EVERYONE KNOWS NOW THAT YOUR A LIAR AND YOU CANT HIDE. GUESS WHAT CAUSE EVERYTHING THAT WAS IN THE DARK IS IN THE LIGHT NOW. WE KNOW YOU WE SEE YOU EVERYDAY MAYBE TALK TO YOU AND EVEN LAUGH AT YOU. YOUR NOBODY YOU HAVE NO LIFE BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULDNT SIT AROUND AND THINK OF SOMETHING TO OUT DO SOMEONE. GUESS WHAT IM STILL BETTER THAN YOU IF YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT. I REALLY HAVE I LIFE EVERYTHING I SAY IS TRUE. DONT TRY TO COPY ME BY COMING UP WITH THIS RIDICULOUS STORY THAT ENDS WITH YOU HAPPY OR THINGS ON YOUR SIDE. IT DOESNT WORK ANYMORE. I HAVE COME UP WITH THE CONCLUSION THAT IF YOU LIE THAT YOU MUST STEAL TOO. THEY USUALLY COMBINE. BUT EVERYONE KNOWS SOMEONE LIKE THIS IMMEDIATELY EXIT THEM FROM YOUR LIFE. I KNOW IM DOING IT NOW. SO IF YOUR LIKE THIS AND YOU WANT TO EXIT YOURSELF THEN DO SO BEFORE I DO. CAUSE MY WAY WONT BE PRETTY AT ALL. THE PEOPLE THAT I SEND THIS TOO IM NOT SAYING YOUR LIARS IM JUST MAKE YOU AWARE OF WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.


I WROTE THIS ON DECEMBER 2, 2006. IT EXPRESSED ALOT OF MY FEELINGS TOWARDS PEOPLE AND HOW I LET LITTLE THINGS GET TO ME. BUT I AM A MUCH STRONGER PERSON NOW. I REALIZE THAT THINGS HAPPEN ONLY BECAUSE YOU WANT THEM TO HAPPEN.

A BUSY WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE WEEKS WHEN THINGS REALLY GET HARD. WORK HAS PILED UP A MILE FROM HERE. A HURRICANE OR TROPICAL STORM IS COMING THIS WAY. NOTHING TO DO THE WEEKEND BUT STUDY AND SLEEP. IT IS ONE OF THOSE WEEKS. YOU CURL UP WITH A GREAT BOOK TO READ AND LISTEN TO THE RAIN IT THE ROOFTOP. YOU SIT BY YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND WATCH RAINDROPS HIT THE GROUND. YOU WATCH ALL YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS ON TELEVISION. YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FAVORITE SNACKS RIGHT AT YOUR BEDSIDE. YOU CLEAN EVERYTHING IN YOUR HOUSE UNTIL IT IS SPOTLESS. YOU MAKE SURE THAT YOUR MOVIE COLLECTION IS UP AND READY. YOU INVITE ALL YOUR GIRLFRIENDS OVER FOR A OLE FASHION SLUMBER PARTY. YOU SPEND THE WHOLE WEEKEND TALKING ON THE PHONE TO SOMEONE FAR AWAY. YES THIS IS ONE OF THOSE WEEKS. YOU DO ALL THE BORING THINGS THAT YOU FIGURE IS BORING. BUT IN ACTUALITY IT IS ART IN THE MAKING.

MY 21ST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

I HAVE NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN IN MY LIFE. MY 21ST BIRTHDAY WAS THE START OF A GREAT YEAR FOR ME. WEDNESDAY WAS THE START OF MY EXCLUSIVE EVENTS. I WENT SHOPPING AND HUNG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS. THEN I WENT TO THIS ORGANIZATION TRY-OUT CALLED PICTURE PERFECT MODELS. I GOT IN THE ORGANIZATION WHICH I AM VERY CONTENT ABOUT IT. THEN THURSDAY I WENT TO THIS PARTY WHICH HAD A THEME ABOUT BEING AN 80'S BABY. THAT NITE WAS A GREAT NITE WITH THE EXCEPTION OF SOME SMALLER EVENTS. I HAD LOTS OF FUN. THEN FRIDAY NITE THEY HAD A BIRTHDAY SLUMBER PARTY FOR ME. IT WAS FILLED WITH EATING PIZZA, DRINKING MOUNTAIN DEW, WATCHING MOVIES, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY TALKING ABOUT GUYS. SATUDAY, WHICH WAS MY BIRTHDAY, I WAS TOLD EARLIER THAT DAY THAT MY BOYFRIEND WANTED TO GO OUT TO EAT BEFORE I WENT OUT WITH MY FRIENDS. SO HE PICKED ME AND BLINDED FOLDED ME IN THE CAR. HE TOOK ME TO HIS HOUSE WHICH WAS SET UP WITH NICE PINK AND PURPLE CANDLES AND TWELVE DIFFERENT COLOR TULIPS ON THE TABLE. THERE WAS FOOD AND WINE ON THE TABLE AND A NICE ATMOSPHERE. WE ATE DINNER. THEN HE SURPRISED ME WITH A BIRTHDAY CAKE. AFTER THAT HE SURPRISED ME WITH A NECKLACE. LATER I WENT OUT WITH FRIENDS AND HAD A GOOD TIME DRINKING AND DANCING. IT WAS THE PERFECT WEEKEND FOR A PRINCESS.

Old Friends vs. New Friends

What makes a good friend? What is your defintion of the word friend? It is hard to say what a friend is knowing that you dont really know. Well over my last three years of college, I have grown to learn the defintion of alot of words. Words like friends, associates, spouses, and other relationship outside of family is not clear to me. I like to think that friends are people you can call on in need of help. Friends are there even when you have did or said things to them you didnt mean. Friends are comforters, guiders, leaders, and teachers. But most importantly there are caregivers.
I think if you meet new friends you should let your old friends know exactly how you feel. I have just had a recent encounter where my new friends and old friends had to try to get along for me. And it has kinda been working out well. Everyone is learning new things about each other. And things seem to be working out for the best for me. But i cant say the same for everyone. Things may get hectic. And there can be dislikes between the two. Even to the point where there will be strings pulling from both sides. There are ways to work on the inner friendships within the group. So what do you think about old friends vs. new ones?

Now That I Have Figured It Out!!!!!!

I have finally figured it out people so dont consider this my first blog. I just wanted to let you all know why i had nothing under my page. But here goes my first blog.